


Major Disruptions of Guardian Business

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "guys, maybe I am a total weirdo, but everytime I see pitch wearing that golden collar (like here http://25.media.tumblr.com/fc7b7dcae59858df1b386741a6781ce1/tumblr_mfeocuPqU51r5yfc8o1_500.jpg) I can’t stop thinking is liek basically the same than a wedding ring thing!!!SO here is my ideaThe sandman tell the others guardians he is getting married! and all of them get very excited for him until, he introduce them to his “bride” pitch!I would love it to be mostly fluff and funny really! (even a bit crack since what the theme is about) make me so happy anons!extra points if it show how the mood of the guardians goes from total happiness and joy to frightening and shock (in a heck funny way) when see pitch entering the room as the bride"Sandy introduces the Guardians to his fiance. This really is just silly and fluffy, just as the prompter requested.
Relationships: Pitch Black/Sanderson Mansnoozie
Kudos: 31
Collections: Blacksand Short Fics





	Major Disruptions of Guardian Business

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 9/21/2016.

“Is no one concerned at all that I haven’t been able to hear even one rumor about who Sandy’s marrying?” Jack asks. “The wind _should_ have been able to tell me something.”  
  
“Sandy can be pretty discreet when he wants to,” Bunny says with a shrug. “I’m not surprised that he’d choose to keep things hush now. Marrying someone is a huge, huge step for an immortal.  
  
“Anyway, he has asked us all to gather to meet his fiancée!” North smiles widely and presses his hands together. “So he is not meaning to keep them a secret forever! This is very important, and I am very glad not to have any rumors to spoil the surprise.”  
  
“I hope we’ll be able to talk to them,” Tooth says. “I want to hear everything about how they met and got to know each other, and, well, we’re used to Sandy so it’ll be easy to hear his side of the story, but if the person Sandy’s marrying also uses a unique language…oh, but that doesn’t really matter! I’ll learn, we’ll all learn, and it will be wonderful because this person is someone Sandy wants to _marry_!”  
  
Jack smiles and works on letting himself relax. He shouldn’t be the most worried person here, and, anyway, Sandy will be here soon with his fiancée, and then everything will be fine and they can all start looking forward to the wedding.  
  
Jack and the others whirl to face the door as they hear it unlatch. It swings open enough for Sandy to peer in and give them a little wave. He smiles nervously. My fiancé is here, he tells them. Just outside. I hope you’re ready to meet him.  
  
“Yes! Yes, we are!” Tooth exclaims, hovering slightly forward of the group. “We’re dying to know who it is! Knowing for sure he’s a he hardly helps with guessing!”  
  
Sandy’s expression grows even more nervous. I don’t anything could have helped you guess this, he signs, and then pushes the door open wider to reveal none other than Pitch Black.  
  
Pitch Black, who is holding Sandy’s hand. Pitch Black, who Sandy is bodily shielding as they step into the room.  
  
“Goddammit,” Bunny says. “Of course this is what happens.”  
  
“This is…um…yes, that’s true, I never would have guessed this,” Tooth says.  
  
Jack can only stare open-mouthed. As far as he’s concerned, Pitch lacks some essential husband qualities for Sandy, such as ‘has not literally murdered his future spouse.’  
  
North gives the three a funny look, before turning to Pitch and Sandy. “Congratulations!” He steps forward, opening his arms. Pitch shies away and Sandy hurriedly explains that, given past interactions, a handshake might be best, and North had better not dare to do the hand-squeezing thing—  
  
North gives Sandy a hug, nodding, and then gives Pitch a handshake much like any other he’s ever given, which is to say, rather more enthusiastic than any ordinary handshake, but not holding any ill will.  
  
As this happens, Jack’s brain catches up with Sandy’s signs. “Given past interactions—I mean—you’re warning _us_? But—Pitch—past interactions! He shot you!”  
  
And it made our score exactly even, Sandy signs offhandedly.  
  
“What?” Jack looks to anyone else, even Pitch, for an explanation, though his gaze finally lands on Bunny. “And why aren’t you more upset about this? I thought you—I mean, you were pissed off enough about blizzards I’d caused before becoming an actual Guardian, and…what the hell?”  
  
Bunny sighs deeply. “Pitch isn’t becoming a Guardian, for one thing,” he says. “And I’m old enough to remember that Sandy and Pitch have been ‘killing’ each other with a fair amount of regularity since before agriculture was a thing.” He folds his arms and glances towards Pitch and Sandy. “And it was bloody stressful, too. It was such a relief when Pitch seemed to vanish at the end of the dark ages, because, well, that battle during Pitch’s latest world-domination bid? Positively tame compared to some of the ones I’ve seen. As to why I’m not more upset…” Bunny closes his eyes. “It’s my center. Sandy’s been vaguely hoping for a reconciliation for ages. I was hoping this would manifest as a formal truce, but, well, I guess it didn’t.” He addresses Pitch and Sandy directly. “Have you made a final peace between yourselves, then?”  
  
“In a matter of speaking,” Pitch says, smiling down at Sandy. “Between ourselves, as ourselves, yes. But since we’re not mortals, and we have other purposes, we…” He swallows nervously. “Maybe you had better explain,” he says to Sandy.  
  
We had to alter the wedding vows a bit, Sandy signs. Can’t have them be so limited as to say ‘till death do us part.’ We really mean for this to be permanent.  
  
There’s no hiding of the silly grin that spreads across Pitch’s face when Sandy makes this assertion, and Jack forces himself to take a deep breath. “Can we see the vows ahead of time?” Jack asks. “You know. So we can come after you, Pitch, if you break them.”  
  
“You don’t think Sandy would be quite capable of doing that?” Pitch rubs his thumb against Sandy’s.  
  
“I—” Jack stops and frowns, and Sandy raises his eyebrows at him.  
  
“So,” Tooth interrupts, “I think a better question to ask now is: How will your marriage affect Sandy’s duties as a Guardian, Pitch’s, um, boogeymanning, and, well, everything like that?”  
  
“The disagreements between Sandy and I should first be considered as primarily between us, and not call for immediate Guardian interference,” Pitch says, with the air of someone beginning an extensive list. At the same time, however, Sandy starts signing something completely different.  
  
After the wedding I plan for us to take a month for a honeymoon, he tells the others. I was thinking October.  
  
“A whole month!” Jack blurts out without thinking, and a small, smug smile appears on Pitch’s face along with a blush. Bunny mutters something under his breath while Tooth and North demonstrate variations of the meaning of ‘nonplussed.’  
  
Sandy grins widely. That was a warning, not a request, by the way, he signs. The level of emergency that would require my attention during that time…seems unlikely to happen. After all, the only one who’s been able to cause that kind of emergency is already going to be getting my undivided attention.  
  
Pitch nods a little over-enthusiastically and somehow this pulls all the others closer to accepting the upcoming marriage. Yes, this is _Pitch_ , still, but he’s so clearly head-over-heels for Sandy. And they all know that Pitch isn’t one for hiding his true feelings.  
  
“The…more practical details can be sorted out later, I suppose,” Pitch says. “Sandy’s confident that something can be worked out to improve my particular situation. I understand the Guardians have regular meetings?”  
  
The others nod, but for the first time that day, North looks crestfallen. Bunny notices this and laughs. “Come on, North! It’s not like there are literal monsters waiting for us that are going to be disappointed if we take a few weeks to actually do some Guardian business. Or are you worried that you’re going to forget your overly-complicated plot?”  
  
“I’ll remember it, North,” Tooth says. “Bunny, you’re going to have to deal with your pet werewolf someday; you knew the risk when you rolled.”  
  
Can I be removed from the campaign during my honeymoon? Sandy asks, while Pitch’s eyes widen in realization and he appears to be struggling not to laugh.  
  
“Mates, this isn’t the important thing,” Bunny insists.  
  
True! Sandy signs, in very large symbols. Look, he continues. This really is very serious for Pitch and me. We love each other. We’re going to marry each other. Can you accept these facts, without being distracted away from them? Can you be happy for us?  
  
The return of the smile on North’s face when he says yes helps the other affirmations follow easily.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> ask-a-pale-experiment reblogged this from gretchensinister and added:  
> Wait, what pet werewolf?
> 
> phenyxsnest reblogged this from gretchensinister: #aww #accepting Guardians and D&D and cuteness yay
> 
> marypsue reblogged this from gretchensinister: #i am DYING here#'exactly even'#the truth of the Guardians' weekly meetings#'I had hoped it would be a formal truce' oh man#you know your way around a turn off phrase#turn OF phrase rather#argh tags why can't I edit you
> 
> bowlingforgerbils reblogged this from gretchensinister: #awwwwww #AWWWWW #bunny's reaction was priceless #i like how North is the first to offer congratulations #the ending was adorably funny


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